My name is Evie, I’m 18, I’m autistic and ADHD and for my whole life I have struggled with school. I know that my story will be painfully familiar to a lot of people; undiagnosed until 17, masked until it broke me, ended up terrified of the classroom, barely attending and eventually had to leave. It’s an experience that is all too familiar to many autistic girls and their families – EHCP fights, sleepless nights, anxiety spilling into every aspect of your life.

After 3 years of struggles, in September 2025, I restarted Year 12. I framed it as giving school one last chance, and I was determined to make it work. I think I knew deep down that I could never be okay in the environment that had caused all the mess in the first place, but school was so ingrained in who I was, and the plan I had had for my life had such a hold on me, that I could not bring myself to give it all up. So, I pushed it down, swallowed my doubts and masked harder than I’d every masked before. I congratulated myself when I managed to keep my distress at bay, took it as a sign that I was making progress, even though it meant I’d come home exhausted every day. I took on more commitments and put my all into having a ‘normal’ sixth form experience, while spending more time in the sensory room than the classroom. I built the life I thought I wanted and furiously ignored the fact that it was breaking me.

When I hit rock bottom again in March this year, I was terrified. I’d vowed never to get to that place again, yet there I was, stuck between preserving my mental health and preserving the life I’d always thought I would have. How could I leave behind everything I’d fought so hard for? It was a Friday afternoon when I finally let the nagging doubt I’d had for months develop into a fully-fledged thought – what if this wasn’t actually what I wanted? The realisation that I had no idea why I was doing it, why I wanted to be in school so badly, felt like it flipped my world upside down. All of a sudden, I realised that I didn’t have to keep putting myself through hell. There were other options that wouldn’t consume my whole world. School wasn’t, and never had been, the be all and end all. So, despite the absolute terror that I felt at leaving everything I’d known for the past 7 years, I left. And it was the best thing I have ever done.

Describing the difference between my life six months ago and my life now is like describing the difference between night and day. I’m not saying it’s not hard; the things I went through in school still impact my life in massive ways and getting your A Levels through distance learning isn’t exactly easy, but I would never go back to how things were. I am learning in a way that actually works for me, and I can try out different ways of accommodating myself and my brain without the crushing pressure. I do my work in coffee shops and libraries rather than classrooms that fill me with fear. I’m actually enjoying learning and rediscovering my passion for history and politics (proud history nerd over here).

More importantly than any of that, I have a life beyond education. I have the capacity to enjoy my life and take part in things that actually mean something to me, because I don’t spend all my time recovering from school. I’m part of an activism programme, joining a new orchestra and finding joy in the little things that were totally obscured by the shadow school cast over my life. I’m also going to lots of concerts, which as a huge fangirl is a major win. I am finding communities where I don’t have to explain myself or negotiate my needs, where I am just accepted as I am for who I am. I am more myself than I have been in a long, long time and it is joyful, but six months ago I never would have imagined any of it. I thought that I would be stuck feeling that way forever, that school was the only option to get me where I want to go, that leaving would be the end of the world.

So, I have a message for every single young person excluded by an education system that breaks autistic people then acts shocked when we struggle. Whatever your story, whether you are struggling to attend, have been forced out or have left because you simply had nothing more to give, there is a life beyond it. It may not look like the plan society made for you, or the one you had in your head, but it will be beautiful. And to those people who are still stuck there, fighting through every day, masking furiously or watching as it all seems to crumble around them, I want you to know that I see you and it is not forever. One day it will end and you will get to find all the joy it has stripped you of over the years.

Whatever your experience, there is hope for a life outside of school walls. I am living proof of that.

Bio

Since leaving school in March, Evie has become passionate about activism. She wants all young people to know that they are not alone in their struggles, and that there is a life beyond the confines of the education system. She forms an integral part of the Youth Advisory Board at AGN where her voice, alongside the rest of the board, shapes the work we do as a charity.