What is awesome about being an autistic female

If you are a younger autistic girl or woman, you have probably heard far more about what is difficult or challenging about being autistic than about what is genuinely positive. Conversations often focus on struggles, deficits, and what you cannot do, or what others believe needs fixing or changing. Constantly having to explain yourself, advocate for your needs, and push against misunderstanding while managing those real difficulties is exhausting. Over time, this can shape how you see yourself and quietly erode your confidence and sense of worth.

Many autistic girls and women grow up hearing what they need to fix long before anyone helps them understand what is already strong. When you spend years being told you are difficult, too sensitive, or getting things wrong, it can be incredibly hard to recognise your own strengths, even when they are there all along.

Autism is not only about challenge. It is also about difference, including differences in thinking, feeling, sensing, and relating to the world. Many of these differences can be real strengths, even if they are not always recognised or valued by society. Research exploring autistic identity shows that autistic people often describe themselves as honest, loyal, creative, and deeply authentic, with a strong sense of justice and fairness. Many also value their ability to focus intensely on interests they care about, notice patterns and details others miss, and think in original and unconventional ways (Cooper, Smith and Russell, 2020).

These qualities can show up as deep expertise, ethical clarity, creativity, and a strong drive to question unfair systems or expectations. They are not lesser ways of being, they are simply different ways of engaging with the world.

Studies using positive psychology approaches support these lived experiences. Autistic adults often report character strengths such as love of learning, persistence, integrity, curiosity, and empathy. Importantly, recognising and valuing these strengths is linked with improved wellbeing, stronger self-esteem, and greater life satisfaction (Nocon et al., 2022).

For autistic girls and young women, however, these strengths are often hidden by years of masking. Masking can involve copying others, suppressing natural responses, or pushing through sensory overload in order to fit in. While this can help someone cope in environments that are not supportive, it often comes at a high cost, including exhaustion, anxiety, and a growing disconnect from one’s own needs and identity.

A neuro affirming view of autism does not deny that life can be hard. Instead, it recognises that much of the struggle comes from environments and expectations that are not designed with autistic girls and women in mind, rather than from something being wrong with the individual (Bottini et al., 2024). Difficulties often arise when autistic ways of thinking, communicating, or processing the world are misunderstood or unsupported.

Understanding yourself can be powerful. When you begin to recognise your strengths alongside your needs and limits, you are better able to make choices that support your wellbeing and allow you to be more fully yourself.

Being autistic is a different way of being human. It comes with challenges, but it also brings depth, insight, creativity, and a unique perspective on the world, and these qualities are worthy of understanding, respect, and celebration in their own right.

References

Bottini, S.B., Lawson, W., Pellicano, E. and den Houting, J. (2024) Moving from disorder to difference, a systematic review of the neurodiversity paradigm and neuro affirming language in autism. Autism.

Cooper, R., Smith, L.G.E. and Russell, A. (2020) ‘I’m proud to be a little bit different’, the effects of autistic social identification and collective self-esteem on wellbeing. Autism, 24(3), pp. 704 to 716.

Nocon, A.S., Woodard, C.R., Shahidullah, J.D. and Jones, J. (2022) Character strengths in autistic adults and their association with life satisfaction. Research in Autism Spectrum Disorders, 99, 102071.

Sarah regularly speaks on webinars, podcasts, and at events, and presents monthly for ADHD UK. Through her coaching practice, Sarah West ADHD Thrive Together, she supports women to develop practical strategies to navigate life with ADHD and autism with greater understanding and self-compassion.
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