To someone observing from the outside, many autistic behaviours and experiences may seem contradictory. How can a young person who cannot tolerate the beeping of a supermarket checkout then tolerate and even enjoy being at a concert with hundreds of people present? Or how can someone who struggles to speak at school then stand up on stage and perform in a theatrical performance?

Because these experiences appear contradictory to an observer, they can sometimes be misunderstood.  People may assume that difficulties are exaggerated, selective or made up. An autistic person’s needs may be questioned, judged or dismissed, with the assumption that if they can do one thing, then they should in turn be able to do another.

However, what appears inconsistent often reflects a difference in context. Context changes capacity and an autistic person’s capacity may not be the same across every situation. Instead, it may be influenced by factors such as predictability, level of control and available energy. For example, when an autistic person is overwhelmed by the beeping of a supermarket checkout, but not by the noise of a concert, this is not a simple difference in volume. Instead, there are differences in how predictable, consistent and structured the noise is.

Let’s imagine two scenarios. In one scenario you are at home and playing music of your choice. In another scenario a neighbour has just started hammering and drilling and you can hear it inside your home. Both sets of noise may be equally loud, but they feel very different. One feels expected, familiar and under your control. The other is intrusive, unpredictable and impossible to ignore. Additionally, you don’t know when it will stop or how long it will last.

For some autistic people, unexpected and unpredictable sensory stimuli may feel like the neighbour hammering and drilling. In an environment such as a supermarket or a classroom this may happen consistently, reducing capacity to cope and leading to feelings of overwhelm.  At a concert, several factors may increase an autistic person’s capacity. They may have chosen to be there. The music might be predictable and well known to them and there is a clear start and end time. They may also have prepared in advance, for example bringing ear plugs and sunglasses. Social interaction may also feel more predictable and structured as this is based around a shared interest, rather than small talk.

Similar principles may apply across a whole range of situations. The autistic person who can deliver a theatrical performance, but who cannot speak at school is autistic in both situations. However, when performing they have had processing and preparation time, whereas at school they may be experiencing intense levels of uncertainty and sensory processing which overwhelms their senses.

Additionally, as an observer we may see the successful completion of an activity, but this does not mean we see the ‘cost’ of the success. Something may be possible, but it may have taken careful planning and a significant amount of time to recover afterwards. Someone may be able to cope with something once, but this does not mean they could cope with it every day. A one-off concert during a school holiday is very different to coping with an unpredictable classroom environment six hours a day, five days of a week.

Instead of asking “if they can do this, why can’t they do that?” it may be more helpful to think “what is different between these two situations?” and “which aspects of this environment increase or decrease an autistic person’s capacity to cope?” When we begin asking those questions, we may find the apparent contradictions start to disappear.

Bio

Heather Connolly-Smith is a writer, therapist and specialist university mentor for neurodivergent students. She is particularly interested in neuroaffirmative practice and the importance of systemic change to support the wellbeing of autistic people. Her new book is Talking Therapies for Autistic People.